I be scared of dumbness.

I’m afraid of two things. Snakes. And mushrooms.

Frightening!!

I’m also fearful of certain situations. Recently, the situation has been dealing with the Italian language. For instance, if I need to go to the grocery store, anxiety builds up inside of me before I ever leave the apartment and I start to freak out a little.

What if the cashier says something to me that I don’t understand and they get mad at me? What if someone on the way there stops me to ask a question and I don’t know how to respond? What if I need help but don’t know the words to say? Lots of thoughts like that run through my head. I’m sure it sounds so very minor. You may even be thinking, “Gosh Kala, that is so not a big deal. Just get over yourself and go do what you need to do.” And I’d say you’re right. I do need to get over myself.

I’ve been thinking a lot about the ministry of Jesus. He is fully God and yet he was fully human. He became like us to minister to us. That blows my mind, especially as I try to learn the Italian way of life and realize how difficult of a task it is for me. It is not an easy thing to learn a new culture, plus a new language. And one of the big reasons why it is so difficult is because of my pride.

People that know me well can tell you how much I try to avoid looking like an idiot. I like to appear like I have it all together and know what I’m doing. I don’t like to show emotion or insecurity. And I especially don’t like to ask for help. I’m prideful.

Paul says this in his letter to the Philippians, “Do nothing from rivalry or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves.” (Phil. 2:3 ESV) Yep, Kala needs to get over herself. It is better for me to feel stupid when trying to understand and speak Italian if it means that I can enter into a relationship with people. It is better for me to look like an idiot if it means that someone hears the gospel. The people of Naples are more significant than me. My insecurity is trumped by the need to hear the gospel.

This week I’m going to work on getting over myself, because me being in Italy really isn’t about me. I could definitely use some encouragement in this area, so if you’ve got any, send it on over!
Pray for me this week as I’m hoping to find some folks that speak a little English. How can I pray for you?

 Mt. Vesuvius + boats = pretty. 

P.S. At the end of this week I will have been in Europe for a month. How crazy is that?