i've been listening to too much emo music

I think I'm tired of myself. I'm not certain, because I won't even let myself "go there." I know there is a lot of thoughts that I need to process and put down on paper, but I haven't done it. Just the thought of doing it exhausts me. Still, I carry the thoughts on with me through day after day. I know my load would be so much lighter if I would allow myself to think. Why am I so afraid of it?

I used to enjoy processing my thoughts. I wrote in a journal almost every day and just put it all out there. It was when I let myself go that I felt the most alive. This sounds insane, I know. I'm going to consider it a prelude to the real thinking that I need to do.

Maybe this weekend. Serious journal time.  Something is awry...must.solve.the.mystery...that is myself.

i'm in love with this song.

Arts & Crafts

So, IKEA has pretty much changed my life. My new favorite thing is to peruse the place and steal ideas. It was like getting to go to Disney World when we had trips to IKEA in Naples. AND, there is one near-ish to me in Ohio. I got to visit it yesterday and it was pretty much amazing. For one, it allowed me to believe that I was back in Naples for about an hour. For two, I bought some pretty awesome things. IKEA has super random fabric, which is totally my style. So I just made this:

Pretty cool if you ask me. It's numbers written out in script. And the whole project cost about twelve bucks. I don't know if you've priced home decor these days, especially large wall pieces, but stuff is expensive. 

Also, it turns out that arts & crafts are fun. And I really like the way my apartment is coming together. Too bad I'll be moving again in a few months. Oh well. I'll just have to turn my new place into a hipster as well. 

Do you have any DIY tips/ideas for home decor? 

Review: Permission to Speak Freely

There are so many things that people are afraid to speak out about, especially in the church. Anne Jackson, an avid blogger, asked the question, “What is one thing you feel you can’t say in church?” It turns out there are a lot of things that people feel they can’t say in church as she received hundreds of responses on her blog. In Permission to Speak Freely, Anne shares these confessions in the form of essays, poems, and art.

Permission to Speak Freely definitely isn’t what I would consider to be theologically moving. It is, however, honest. It begged me to explore my own thoughts and fears. As I unearthed a part of myself that I had strategically kept hidden, I felt as if a weight had been lifted off of me. I discovered that I wasn’t alone and that there was freedom   in knowing that truth. 

Many of us cringe at the thought of exposing ourselves, metaphorically naked, before the community of faith. I highly recommend Permission to Speak Freely to those who find themselves struggling through issues, fears, and doubts. You just might find that you aren’t so afraid after all. 

I received this book free from the publisher through the BookSneeze.com book review bloggers program. I was not required to write a positive review. The opinions I have expressed are my own. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255 : “Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising.”

Why I Left Seminary

Everyone is different. It’s an obvious observation but something I cannot seem to remember. I find myself in need of a constant reminder of this truth. I am not her. I am not him. I am me. My life will probably not look like anyone else's and that is okay. I have a confession to make. 

A little over a year ago I was a recent college graduate with zero direction. I had a degree that didn’t lead into any specialized field and I didn’t have a clue as to what I wanted to do with my life. I grew up in the church and was under the impression that God had a magnificent plan for my life, which was reinforced by all the bookmarks and charm bracelets with a Jeremiah 29:11 theme given to me over the years. I assumed that all of this meant that I was special. I was going to be something great and God was going to use me in huge ways. And yet, I didn’t know any specifics. Was I supposed to sell all my possessions and move to Africa? Was I going to be the next Beth Moore? Was I finally going to be discovered and be the next big hit on Christian radio? So many possibilities in my mind but none of them seemed to be panning out. So I did what I thought would be the next logical step. I went to seminary.

Seminary can be a wonderful thing. Many churches require their staff to have a theological education and for good reason. But seminary is not for everyone. It isn’t always necessary and at times can even be a hindrance. It’s a heavy workload and requires a lot of time and money. Like I said, it’s just not for everyone and it isn’t meant to be. I went to seminary because I didn’t know what step to take next. I’d heard all my life that God had big plans for me so why not go to seminary? I knew there was so much that I didn’t know and so much that I should. Seminary seemed like an obvious choice. So I went.

My first semester went great. I was learning so much and meeting a ton of other people who were also interested in learning more about God. But still, I had no direction. I dreaded the commonly asked Why are you here? question. The only answer I could provide was, “Why not?” It made sense at the time. I never doubted my decision. At the same time, all the learning was for the sake of making good grades. None of it was reaching my heart. I had no time for reflection. I rarely spent time in prayer. I was always surrounded by other seminarians. I honestly didn't know any unbelievers. I never left the seminary bubble. I knew there were things that needed to change, but I didn't know how and I didn't make it a priority. My priority was to find importance in being me. 

I spent my second semester in Italy, doing hands on work. Italy was a life changing experience and I will forever be grateful for having such an opportunity. I was with people. Normal, every day people with struggles. Sinners. People with hope. People without hope. It was refreshing. I came back to the United States a different person. And suddenly I was seeing my life in a whole new way.

I discovered that I am full of pride. But I was also full of fear. What would people think if I dropped out of seminary? But there were more troubling questions and I was afraid to even acknowledge them. What if God didn’t have a magnificent plan for my life? What if I’m not going to be something great? What if God doesn’t use me in huge ways? I felt like I couldn’t voice these thoughts or people would think I was having a crisis of faith or dealing with some huge sin in my life. And in truth, I was dealing with sin. I had gone to seminary in the first place in an effort to glorify myself. All those possibilities that I thought might be in my future were all ways to draw attention to myself, not to Christ.

I shamefully ignored the truth and pressed on into my third semester. But the questions didn’t go away. I knew that I wasn’t supposed to be in seminary. I knew that my idea of God’s plan was not God’s at all, but my own. God hasn’t called me to be something great. God has called me to be honest about who I am. And this is the truth about who I am: I am a mess. A sinner. A prideful heart. A liar. A fool. I am disobedient. I care way too much about what others think. I distance myself from other believers, afraid that if they knew how bad I truly was that they would distance themselves from me. I’d rather be lonely than have people pull away from me. I’m a girl who has dealt with depression, the kind that makes you contemplate killing yourself. I keep my struggles a secret. I pretend that I live a perfect life without any troubles. But it is all a façade. I’m a fake. These things are true of me apart from Christ. But in Christ I have hope. There is restoration, healing and forgiveness. Joy. 

Well, there it is. That’s me. The real me. I could no longer live a lie and have stepped away from seminary. I’ve decided to follow after truth and trust in where God has me, not some future plan that involves me being somebody important. I’m following after reality. I’m currently a twenty-four-year old girl working a minimum wage job in the service industry. In this world, I am an absolute nobody. Just normal. Average. And I am filled with the joy of knowing Christ as my Lord and Savior and content in following after God, wherever that leads me. I don't regret any of the time I spent in seminary. I believe God is sovereign in all things and has a purpose even in my year of seminary. I pray that He will use my stubbornness as a means of glorifying Himself. 

Several people have questioned my decision, asking me if I am "okay". I'm more than okay. And there will be people who will look down on me. But who cares? All that matters is that I follow after God. I'm not sorry if my honesty makes people feel uncomfortable. The truth isn't always pretty. Who I am is not pretty. That is the beauty of Christ. He did what I cannot do. He has brought me from death into life. God does have plans for our lives. And it is more magnificent than I could have ever imagined. He has made me a new creation! 

Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come! - 2 Corinthians 5:17 

Questions & Answers

What am I currently doing? Procrastinating

What am I currently listening to? Greg Laswell

What am I currently drinking? The Mexico blend from Java Brewing Co.

What should I be doing? Homework for Disaster Relief and Community Development

What's on my mind? I have no idea what I'm going to do with this degree

What must I remember? All that matters is Christ is King

The end.

Long Overdue

I'm real sorry. I have totally abandoned this blog. I gave Tumblr a try, thinking it might be superior to Blogger. And don't get me wrong, Tumblr is a great idea and if enough people were to have accounts I would probably make the switch. But until then, I'm sticking with Blogger. So, I am back.

School started back for me today and I'm slightly overwhelmed. I just realized that I haven't been in a formal class for 9 months. This is the longest break from school I've had in my entire life. So sitting through three back to back classes was a little challenging today. And I'm betting that my 7am class tomorrow isn't going to be much easier.

It hasn't been easy getting back into the swing of things. I'm trying to focus on the new season of life I've entered and not dwell on the past one (though I want to hold on to those memories). I've had to remind myself several times that I am not stuck in this season forever. They come and go. I should try to enjoy it while it lasts so that I will have no regrets. I don't know where I am headed after Louisville, but my time here will be over before I know it. Life moves fast. I must make the most of my time here.

What's new in your life?

Single Ladies

Please read this. You won't regret it. I'm pretty sure it just made my day.

The Single Lady Pancake <---click this thing

Running, Blessings, Talent, & Waterfalls

Finally started running. I think I was seriously afraid of it in my mind. But, I actually really enjoyed it and it felt great. And wasn't too bad.

Back to work this week as well and that has been great so far. It feels good to be back in Louisville and back into life here. The transition has been a lot easier than I had first anticipated, which is obviously a God-thing. I am so unbelievably blessed.

Now for a random aside: I'm watching America's Got Talent and I'm realizing that Americans are incredibly weird. Also, apparently the term "talent" has been redefined to mean the ability to do anything at all. I just watched a guy attempt to eat a marshmallow attached to a mousetrap which he shot with a blowgun. Is this talent? Seriously?

I don't get this "talent." But according to NBC, America's got a lot of it.

I think this is real nice:

It's My Brother's Birthday!!!

He's growin' up on me. 

22. Coolest brother ever. Enough said. Couldn't be more proud of him. 

The Best Part Is The End

I don't really have anything to blog about. 

I could take pictures of my apartment, but that would require too much effort and I haven't had much coffee yet. And I also just spilled said coffee because I got a little too excited. 

I could tell you how good it feels to have my beloved Hummingbird (guitar) back in my life, but I think if I spent an entire blog post talking about how much I missed my guitar that would make me a little bit of a dork. 

I could tell you about my new roommate, Rufus Costello. He's a pomeranian who gives high fives. 

I could express my excitement on getting a washer and dryer delivered. Pretty sure getting excited about something like that makes me an official adult, which is a little bit weird to me. 

I could tell you about my new hairstyle, which is shorter and layered. I don't really like it, but there isn't much I can do about it now. I think it makes me look older, which wasn't the look I was going for. Allora...

Yep...pretty sure my blog is boring right now. It needs some pictures. And maybe some videos. OHHHHH. Wait for it...

New Home

I'm almost completely moved in to my new apartment in Louisville. Can I just say that God has been so very good to me? I went to Italy somewhat worried about how I would return to Louisville: finding a place to live, finding a job, being out of touch with friends, and on and on. I'm sort of a worrier. I know it's dumb. But now I'm back in Louisville in the perfect apartment for me, with a job, and with friends who haven't forgotten about me. I think the most important thing I learned while in Italy is that I really can trust God with my entire life. He really is faithful to take care of me. It seems like such an obvious thing but I am so thankful for how He has provided for me this year. Sooo many God-things in my life.

I'm still feeling pretty weird. It is overwhelming to be with a group of Americans. I didn't think it would affect me at all, but I'm afraid that I've lost my personality somehow in all of this. It could just be my perception, but I feel like I'm really quiet and withdrawn. I totally check out of conversations. I hate it but there is so much happening with my friends that I just can't relate with because I haven't been here. And vice versa, they have no idea what my life was like for the past five months. I guess it will just take time for things to feel normal again.

Anybody reading this who has dealt with re-entry before...got any tips?

Home Again. & Running.

I'm back home. It's weird and I don't really know what to think. I can pretend like the past five months didn't actually happen and it is easier to feel normal again. Or I can think about how amazing the past five months were and then I feel like I'm a foreigner living in the United States. It is very odd and I'm sure it doesn't make any sense. For now, we will just say I'm dealing with culture shock and leave it at that.

The topic I really want to talk about is running. Yeah, I know. Kala and running don't seem like a likely pair. But, a few years ago I was starting to make some real progress as a runner and then I got mononucleosis. And that sort of killed it. I've never gotten back in to the routine and now I am super out of shape. Soooo, I'm going to start running again. I figure by announcing it to the blog world I'll have to actually do it. If you stalk my blog, please hold me accountable to this.

I'm going to run a 5K. This Fall. Seriously.

So to all you runners out there: Give me your best advice. I don't know anything about running but I'd like to learn as much as possible. I'm starting on a schedule to work up to 3 miles, running only three days a week. But, I'm clueless. What kind of gear do I need? What kinds of food should I be eating? Is three days enough or should I be running more? What kind of shoes are best?

Help me!

Ciao Ciao!

i'm going to miss this place and these people. 

can't believe i'm leaving in one week. 

Bloggy McBloggerson

Wouldn't it be weird if my blog updated itself? Like if somehow this blog had the ability to follow me around for a week and make its own report? And wouldn't it be even weirder if the report was subjective? I wonder what my blog would think about me...

Since my blog can't do that, I'll have to update you on my life. For the past three days I have been in Rome. I saw the sights and I met with some people. Overall, it was a fun time, even when it rained for two days straight.

Rome is a weird place. There is sooooo much history there. And there are also sooooo many tourists there. Part of the time it felt like I was in Disney World. There are so many attractions and just people all over the place and you'll randomly here music and it seems all so very amusement park-ish. That part is pretty annoying. But if you can get past all of that and focus on the history, its pretty neat.

But Rome is definitely a different place than Naples. They might as well be in two different countries. Which goes to show that Italy is a very regional place.

In other news, my brother will be here on Thursday. And I am very excited!!!

Random Thoughts

Dear Blogosphere:

I don’t know if that is even the right word. Is it just Blogsphere? ‘Cause that looks weird. It must be Blogosphere. And if it isn’t, NON TI PREOCCUPARE!!!! Va bene? Okay.

I don’t really know what to blog about, so I’m just going to make some italicized points.

It is now May. That is really strange. I have been living in Naples since the last week of January. Wow.

I’m twenty-four years old. I realize that is not old, but from my shoes, it seems old. I mean, it is the oldest I’ve ever been. Haha. When Jon Foreman was twenty-four he was writing amazing songs. I need to get started on that.

My brother is coming to Naples in like two and a half weeks. You have no idea how excited this makes me. I can’t wait to show him around this crazy place.

In basically one month and one week, I will say goodbye to Italy and hello to Belgium. I’m excited to see Hands On friends and hear about their experiences living in Europe. I’ll be real sad to say goodbye to Italy though. It’s a weird emotional roller coaster. I’m beyond excited to see my family and friends again, but I know I will miss this time of my life in Italy.

It is so much more than I could have ever expected or dreamed of. It has been a really hard time, but I have learned and grown so much from it. It is as if I’m starting to see the “real” world for the very first time. America is nice, but it is comfortable and easy for me to live there. Living in Naples has given me the opportunity to look at the world through the lens of a different culture. I’ll just say that appearances aren’t always what they seem. Life is truly a difficult thing sometimes and without the hope of Christ, I don’t know how people do it.

It is heartbreaking to sit on the train and look at all the people around you and realize that you are probably the only person on the train who knows Christ as Lord. And even more heartbreaking to realize how big this city is and how few believers there are. There are over four million people in Naples. Less than one percent are evangelical believers.

When I told people that I was coming to Italy, I got a lot of really mixed responses. Some people told me to enjoy my vacation. Others were confused as to why I was going to a country to work with the church when everyone there was Catholic and already believers. To that I say this – even if every practicing Catholic were truly a believer in Christ alone, the number of practicing Catholics in Naples is extremely low. I think about ninety percent claim to be Catholic, but anywhere from ten to four percent of that are practicing. And let’s get real, Catholicism is not Biblical Christianity. If that offends you, then talk to me about it. Biblical Christianity means trusting in Christ alone for salvation. And that’s not what Catholicism is about.

And this blog entry turned into much more than I expected. The end.

Birthday in Italy!

Reasons why my 24^th birthday was anything but normal:

1.     I woke up and I was in Italy.

2.     I spent most of the day in Italy with Americans.

3.     I had my wish fulfilled of a Hello Kitty themed birthday. Cortney made me the best birthday cake of all time. Equal parts flour and sugar. An entire block of butter. An entire block of cream cheese. Plus glorious strawberries. It was amazing. Oh, and we had tacos for lunch. Win!

4.     I was surprised when I showed up to teach English to the kids and they had some very nice pink daises for me, complete with a drawing of me and a birthday cake. And they sang Happy Birthday to me and were extremely well behaved and no one cried. It was a great English lesson with some really sweet kids.

5.     I went to my favorite café in Naples, Azar Café, with Cortney and Ellie to enjoy the 3 C’s (coffee, Coke, chocolate). At night Azar has a million white lights on the trees and wall surrounding the outside seating area. It makes me feel like I’m in California. And now the weather is nice enough to be able to sit outside and take it all in.

6.     I went to dinner with my neighbors and their family. It was also one of the ESL mother’s birthdays. Of course, everyone is related here in some way because family is super important so they tend to stick together pretty closely. We went to a steak house and I ate a lot of food. So much so that I was sick the next day. But dang was it good. It was definitely a night to remember and one that takes up several pages in my journal.

7.     Two packages arrived for me! One from my sweet friend Emily and one from my parents. Talk about perfect timing! And I received a ton of very nice emails from friends and family. You guys have no idea how happy it makes me to hear from you. I miss you!

So basically I had the most random birthday of my life and one that I will surely never forget. I thought I was going to be all sad because I’m away from family. And I do wish I could have spent time with them. But I had a fantastic day with my Italian/American family here in Naples. I will never forget my 24^th birthday!

Cooking With Kala | Pasta Cavolfiore

First and foremost, I'm not a real cook. I'm a baker. I make cupcakes. But, I'm in Italy. So, it only makes sense for me to learn how to cook some Italian dishes. This was a group effort between myself, Ellie, and Cortney. But I thought it turned out real nice. It is very Neapolitan.

Pasta Cavolfiore (Cauliflower Pasta)
-Cortney's Recipe, as interpreted by me

Ingredients:
2 garlic cloves
1 thing-a-ma-bob of cauliflower
1 bag of pasta
some white cheese (I think we used about a cup)
salt
pepper
quite a bit of water

1. Chop 2 cloves of garlic. Cook it down a little in olive oil. You're going to want a big enough pot for pasta. 
2. Rinse & chop cauliflower. 
3. Add the cauliflower to the garlic and sauté. 
4. Add a whole lot of water. If it looks like you have too much, don't worry about it. You're going to cook the pasta in this junk. So it's okay. 
5. Also, don't let the garlic burn. Just don't. 
6. Then you want to cover the pan and let it boil for a while. You're going to want it to basically be mush. Check it often. Stir it. Make sure the water doesn't get too low. 
7. While it is boiling, shred some cheese. White cheese. Whatever you prefer. 
8. After it is nice and mushy, add some salt and pepper. 
9. Then add in a bag of pasta. 
10. Now, it is time to put down Twilight and get to some serious work. You're going to need to stir the pasta until it is cooked, otherwise it will stick to the bottom of the pan and burn and be disgusting. So stir, stir, stir. And you may need to add more water as you go. Make sure there is enough liquid in there to cook the pasta. 
11. After the pasta has cooked, turn off the heat and add in the cheese. Let that junk melt. 


And.....done. 

It tasted real nice.

Hello Kitty, Easter, & Thoughts On Being Old

I was just talking to a friend [Seth, consider this a shout out. You’re welcome.] about Easter baskets and saying that I wouldn’t be getting one this year because I was in Italy. Never mind the fact that I’m a twenty-three-year-old and way past the age range for Easter gifts. But if I were going to be getting one, I would want it to be Hello Kitty themed. Because basically I am obsessed with all things Hello Kitty. Once again, yes, I do realize how old I am.

Well, when I returned from a few days in Vienna this past week there was a little present waiting for me. A GIANT CHOCOLATE HELLO KITTY EASTER EGG! Now you people in Naples will say that it is not gigantic, but small. But compared to chocolate Easter eggs in the States, this thing is a monster. Some of the ESL moms gave us an Easter gift. It was very unexpected and sweet of them to include us in an Italian tradition. And then there is the whole thing about it being Hello Kitty themed, which is like the icing on the cake.

look at this thing! it's like a chocolate football!

Yesterday the team here in Naples went up into the mountains for a time of worship and fellowship. It was a great day hanging out in beautiful scenery and with the sun shining down on us. I have to say that it is the first Easter I’ve spent in my blue jeans and not in a flowery, pastel Easter dress. And it sure gave me some perspective on what Easter really is. It is not American tradition. It is not going to church to listen to an hour of choral music. Of course, Easter is not about Hello Kitty presents and chocolate. It is the most important day of the year for Christians. It is the reason why we have hope, because Christ is victorious over death. He has risen!

Now back to the age thing, my birthday is coming up later this month and I’m gonna be the big two four. Haha. Some of you are rolling your eyes right now and wanting to tell me to shut my mouth and say that you wish you were turning twenty-four. But alas, this is my blog and I can say what I want.

Anyway, I’ve been asking myself the question, “What do I want to be when I grow up?” a lot lately. As most normal people do. I’ve discovered a lot about myself while I’ve been living in Naples and I feel that I’ve found more clarity on the question. However, I still don’t have an answer. I have non-answers. And I think I just made up a word.

Non-answers: things that I do not want to be when I grow up

So while it is fantastic that I’ve figured some things out, I’m still not sure where I am headed. And I think that is actually an okay thing. I mean, I do have an idea. I’m going to keep taking classes in seminary and just be available to whatever sort of ministry God would have me be part of. I’ve made comments in the past along the lines of,

“Golly, I wish God would just write me a little note on an index card and dangle it from a cloud for me to see and tell me where I’m supposed to work, where I’m supposed to live, and who I’m supposed to marry. And I’d promise not to ever tell anyone about the whole card thing and be content in knowing what the future held for me.”

If my whole future were revealed to me today I probably wouldn’t be content. I’d be worried about how exactly these things were going to happen and when. And what fun is there in knowing everything that is to happen. I sorta like surprises.

So my conclusion is that I am okay with not knowing exactly where I’m going to be parking my car/bicycle/mobile home in ten years. I’m okay with trusting God with one step at a time because I have no doubt that He will be faithful as He always has been.

One step at a time. Next step: Figuring out all the secrets of the Island (think LOST).

P.S. I’m a little out of touch these days when it comes to new music and such. But I’ve been listening to some new (to me, anyway) stuff and it is super good. So I thought I would share some people/bands to check out.

-Lovelite
-Brighten’s new ep ‘Be Human’
-Jovanotti (he’s Italian)
-Tiziano Ferro (also Italian)

If you would like to name-drop some new music/bands/people for me to check out, do it. Grazie!

I'm Wimpy.

I had a very interesting conversation on Sunday.

Let me preface this story by telling you this: Lately I’ve been wondering what I will say to people when I return to the States. I know people will ask me what living here is like. They will ask me what the people are like. And I really don’t know what I will say. I feel like there is no way to explain this place in words and the only way you will ever really understand it is to spend time here yourself. I could show you a thousand pictures and you still wouldn’t totally get it. Looks can be deceiving. So, I really don’t know how I will explain this place.

But, to give you an idea of what this place is like, I’ll recount a conversation I had on Sunday with a young adult at the church I attend here. It’s an Evangelical church, not Catholic. But also very different from the Evangelical church I attend in the States. Most obviously being the fact that it’s all in Italian and I don’t really understand most of it. But I digress.

I’ve spoken to this woman several times before and she knows that I’m American and why I’m in Italy. She asks me on Sunday how long I’ve been here and I tell her that it has been two months. She wants to know what I think about Naples and if I’m enjoying living here. I want to be honest with her and tell her that some days it is really difficult to be here, but at the same time I don’t want to be rude. I politely tell her that I am enjoying it and she tells me that she knows things are really different here. And honestly, that is to put it mildly. Things are incredibly different here. But I won’t get into that now.

She has been to other parts of Italy and to Germany and the United States. She knows how very different Naples is. She has experienced it. She tells me that she feels God has called her to be in Naples, because if it were up to her she wouldn’t be here. And because she says this, I assume that she must not be from Naples, but another part of Italy. However, she tells me that she has lived in Naples her entire life.

This blew me away. She feels like she is called to stay in her hometown, a place she doesn’t want to be. She knows how difficult it is to live here. She’s done it her entire life. She told me that she has a deep sorrow for this city and for that reason she stays. She trusts that God will use her in this city.

The conversation was really encouraging to me and also convicted me big time. There are days that I am ready to pack up and go home. And I will be going home in a matter of months. But there are other people here who are in it for the long run. They have made their home here because they desire to serve God in this city and see the people of Naples come to know Him. Life is hard here, but that doesn’t deter them from following Christ. I am such a wimp.

So from this ramble you can take away two things:

1.     Pray for the team here. Pray for national believers. Pray for the church here.

2.     Follow Christ wherever He leads you. It may be the most difficult thing you have ever done, but it is worth it. If He has called you to be in a place, it is for a purpose. He is good and we can trust Him. He is always faithful. Find comfort in that and persevere. And let me know how I can pray for you.

And because I know you were expecting it after my last post: a funny story.

This isn’t recent, but it really needs to be shared. One night I was walking with Ellie towards a metro stop when I heard familiar music playing. At first I thought it was Michael Jackson’s “Thriller.” But no. And then I see flashing blue and white lights coming up the road. And then I realize that I am hearing the Ghostbusters theme. And then I see the Ghostbusters logo on the side of a white station wagon with flashing blue and white lights with people wearing Ghostbusters gear inside. And that, my friends, is Naples. 

Serious About Coffee

I used to be a real bad coffee addict. Like REAL bad. But, I cut it down because it was an expensive habit to have. But then I came to Naples. And oops, I drink a lot of coffee every single day. Because it is the way of life here. And it is super good stuff. And it is okay because it is relatively cheap.

Ellie and I have been in language school for the past two weeks and there is a coffee bar right outside that has the best cappuccino in the world. Seriously, the best ever. I’ve been a really good girl the past two days and refrained from getting a cappuccino. Ellie, however, could not resist and went to get a coffee today. And this is the how she recounted the event to me:

Ellie: So I walk into the coffee bar and I’m like, “Oh dang, those pastries look good,” then I snap back and I’m like, “FOCUS!” I go up to the bar and I say in my best Italian accent, “Vorrei un cappuccino. (I’d like a cappuccino.)” And the lady was real friendly and I paid her. I threw away my receipt and then I had to dig it out of the trashcan because I forgot that you are supposed to put it on the bar to order your drink and the lady laughed at me. I put it on the counter with my tip of € 0,20 and I was meditating on how that is probably too much because I usually leave € 0,20 for two people. And the guy behind the bar was like, “cappuccino?” I say, “Si.” And he says, “Senza zùcchero ? (without sugar?)” And I say, Si.” And then he was like, “ghufia hjdsoig jgifhjaog.” And I say, “Hmmm?” And he says, “Something, something, dove tua amica? (Where is your friend?)” And I said, “Ohhhhhhhh, a scuola. (At school.)” And he said, “Ah, capito. (I understand.)” And the other guy behind the counter was just staring at me nodding his head and by the way they don’t wash the dishes very well.

Basically, you know you drink a lot of coffee when the barista notices that you aren’t showing up. Guess that means I’ll have to go visit him tomorrow and enjoy the best cappuccino in the world. Obviously, con zùcchero (with sugar).

Sunshine!

English Dinosaurs

Earlier this week I had the strangest experience of my life: my first day of language school. I don’t know if I can even accurately describe how strange it was for me. I was sitting in a room with lots of strangers from all over the world. I heard a Ukrainian and a Dutch woman have a conversation in English. I spoke with a man from Berlin. I met other Americans living in Naples. Belgium, Brazil, Japan, the UK, New Zealand, Uganda, and many other countries were represented. It was such a weird feeling to be in that room and hear so many different accents.

I had my first real conversation in Italian this week as well. It wasn’t about anything important, but it was a big deal for me. I mean, the grammar structure was probably terrible, but hey, it was a conversation. The fact that I can now sometimes understand what people are saying to me is huge. Unless you have experienced it yourself, you have no idea how frustrating it is to not be able to understand anyone.

I love love love love love teaching ESL. I am falling in love with these kids. They opened up a lot more this week and weren’t as nervous. They are the cutest things ever and I want to take them all home with me. And I didn’t think I’d ever enjoy teaching. I tried the education route while in college and I did not like teaching in public schools.  But I really like teaching these kids. I get excited when they understand what I’m showing them. And I love that they like the same things I do: Hello Kitty, Hannah Montana, and cake.

Life in Naples sure is interesting. I really don’t even know how to put my feelings into words. I tried to describe my feelings through a drawing and I really wish I had a scanner so that you could see the beautiful piece of art I created (note: sarcasm). Instead, I’ll just describe it to you: I drew a landscape scene with grass, a pink and orange sun, a red dinosaur, and an astronaut planting an Italian flag. All familiar things, but not necessarily as they should be and definitely not where they should be. That is what life in Naples is like. It’s so right, but a lot of the time things are way different and usually don’t make sense, but it works.

Don’t worry. If you don’t get it, then I described it accurately.

I speaka da English

Way back in the day (like a year and a half ago) I took a class in college about teaching English as a second language (ESL). I thought it was a cool concept and something I could definitely see myself interested in doing, but I tucked that thought away because I couldn’t foresee any opportunities to teach ESL. I mean, I’m from Kentucky. All we gots are a bunch of white Americanos.

Now I find myself in Naples and guess what…people don’t really speak English here. But they’d like to learn. And that is where my first opportunity to teach ESL comes into play. The first day I was so nervous. Probably as nervous as the kids were, just because I had no idea what to do. Thankfully Shannon did the teaching and I was able to take everything in and see how exactly things would work.

Fun fact: I’ve always said that I don’t enjoy working with kids. Every time I’ve ever worked for a church or church organization of some sort, I’ve always avoided anything to do with kids. My brother and I are close in age and I really just wasn’t around a lot of younger kids when I was growing up. So the idea of working with kids just worries me a little bit. However, every time I have worked with a church or church organization, I have worked with kids. And I have loved it. I don’t know why I always think, “No way,” when I have always without a doubt loved it. For some reason it just never clicks in my head that it is something I actually enjoy doing until after I’m already doing it. I hope this explanation makes sense.

Long story short, I’m really enjoying teaching these kids ESL. They are so much fun to get to know, even through the language barrier. I am learning that a smile can mean so much more than words. And a laugh needs no translation. I love getting to practice the few Italian phrases I know with the moms and their appreciation of my effort to speak their language. I’m really excited to see where this goes. I am definitely loving every minute of it.

Now some practical things: I could really use some help with ESL. We like to encourage the kids by putting stickers on the work they complete that say things like, “Good Job, Great, Fantastic,” etc. The problem is, we are going to run out of stickers pretty soon. And we can’t exactly run out and buy English stickers. So if there is any way you could send us stickers, it would be like Christmas to us. Send me an e-mail if you could provide something to help us with: kalaglass08@gmail.com

Some other items we could use: Little things to hand to the kids in English, pencils, bible verse cards, vocabulary flash cards, anything neat you can think of! We teach between 20-25 kids so that gives you an idea of how much of each item we would need. Seriously, it would mean the world to me if you could help out in any way!

We start language school next week, plus we will still be teaching ESL in the afternoons. We’re going to be really busy! So pray for us!

SUNSHINE!!!!!!!!!!

The sun has finally come back out and life is sooooo much better. I'm figuring out how much I love the sun. It had been raining here for like the past three weeks. Not pleasant. I mean, I like rain. I actually really enjoy a nice rainy day. But not when it is every single day. For three weeks. That is just not cool. When the rain falls so does my spirit. I'm just not a very cheerful person.

But thank goodness!!! The sun is shining again! So very thankful for this and many other things this week. I've really been reminded of the goodness of God. When we follow Him, He is faithful.

For the LORD God is a sun and shield; the LORD bestows favor and honor; no good thing does he withhold from those whose walk is blameless. Psalm 84:11

I be scared of dumbness.

I’m afraid of two things. Snakes. And mushrooms.

Frightening!!

I’m also fearful of certain situations. Recently, the situation has been dealing with the Italian language. For instance, if I need to go to the grocery store, anxiety builds up inside of me before I ever leave the apartment and I start to freak out a little.

What if the cashier says something to me that I don’t understand and they get mad at me? What if someone on the way there stops me to ask a question and I don’t know how to respond? What if I need help but don’t know the words to say? Lots of thoughts like that run through my head. I’m sure it sounds so very minor. You may even be thinking, “Gosh Kala, that is so not a big deal. Just get over yourself and go do what you need to do.” And I’d say you’re right. I do need to get over myself.

I’ve been thinking a lot about the ministry of Jesus. He is fully God and yet he was fully human. He became like us to minister to us. That blows my mind, especially as I try to learn the Italian way of life and realize how difficult of a task it is for me. It is not an easy thing to learn a new culture, plus a new language. And one of the big reasons why it is so difficult is because of my pride.

People that know me well can tell you how much I try to avoid looking like an idiot. I like to appear like I have it all together and know what I’m doing. I don’t like to show emotion or insecurity. And I especially don’t like to ask for help. I’m prideful.

Paul says this in his letter to the Philippians, “Do nothing from rivalry or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves.” (Phil. 2:3 ESV) Yep, Kala needs to get over herself. It is better for me to feel stupid when trying to understand and speak Italian if it means that I can enter into a relationship with people. It is better for me to look like an idiot if it means that someone hears the gospel. The people of Naples are more significant than me. My insecurity is trumped by the need to hear the gospel.

This week I’m going to work on getting over myself, because me being in Italy really isn’t about me. I could definitely use some encouragement in this area, so if you’ve got any, send it on over!
Pray for me this week as I’m hoping to find some folks that speak a little English. How can I pray for you?

 Mt. Vesuvius + boats = pretty. 

P.S. At the end of this week I will have been in Europe for a month. How crazy is that?

S.A.D.

My favorite day ever is this weekend. Yep, that my friend is what one would call sarcasm. Valentine’s Day, also known as Single Awareness Day, is on the horizon. And how am I spending Valentine’s Day this year? In the land of lovers known as Italy. Seriously, I’m almost positive that everyone in Naples is in love and they often show everyone in public just how much they love each other with their very public displays of affection. Ew gross. But, such is life.

I could let this day pass by like any other. I could sulk all day and eat lots of chocolate. I could stir up some bitterness in my heart. OR…I could not make Valentine’s Day into a big deal, but still take away a valuable lesson from it.

Everyone has a desire to be loved. Well, I’d say that is a fair assumption to make. It probably looks different for every person. But we as humans were created to be relational, especially with our Creator. If you read the Bible in the book of Genesis, God is very intentional in creating man and he creates us to live relationally with Him. Now because of sin this is often not what happens, but through Christ that relationship is possible.

So on Valentine’s day and all the other days of the year, I’m going to search out those people who are desiring to be loved. Not so that I can give them a candy heart or a box of chocolates, but so that I can share with them the words of life, the good news of Christ. 

Me and my Valentine this year: Mt. Vesuvius. 

Where Am I From?

I could probably blog every day about food but I won’t do that. Promise.

I will however tell you about my ability to be Spanish, Bosnian, French, British, and American. [Notice how I didn’t say Italian. Still working on that one.]

Not too long ago, I was in a store when a man approached me and began speaking to me in a language that I did not recognize. I’m sure I was giving him a weird look, but he just kept on talking until he realized that I was not answering. Then he asked in broken English, “You Bosnian?” I say, “Nope.” He tells me he thought I was so-and-so’s daughter and that I looked Bosnian. Um, okay. That’s a new one to me. But hey, I guess if I look like I’m Bosnian that means I get bonus points for being interesting.

Last week Ellie and I were in a coffee bar and there were some guys chatting by the door. They were speaking in Italian to each other. As we were leaving, one guy moved out of the way of the door and excused himself in French. He wasn’t French. So did he think I was French?

Ellie and I were walking around taking some scenic pictures when a guy approached us and began speaking in Italian. We kindly explained that we didn’t speak Italian and so he wanted to know if Spanish would be okay. Nope. I’m not Spanish either. Never been to Spain.

We also found a bookstore that has a few English books. There just so happened to be a man who worked there that spoke a little English and we got to talk to him for a while. And then he wanted to know if we were from the UK or the US. I giggled to myself in my head. It cracks me up that someone would think that I am British. Maybe it is difficult to distinguish English accents. Or maybe I look like a British person.

Random side note: A lot of people have dogs here. We were walking around a park and there were like five dogs running around playing. It makes me miss Rufus. He is basically the coolest dog that has ever existed.

Back on track: Here’s to hoping that crossing cultures is easier if you look like a hodge-podge of cultures. That is probably the weirdest comment I have ever made about myself. 

Prayer Requests

Ciao!

So I live in Italy now.

That sentence looks crazy weird. Like super crazy. I guess it is a little inaccurate. I mean, I didn’t like pack up and move all my things here. I’m only staying until June. But still, I like, live here. I have my own bed. In my own apartment. With my own kitchen. Crazy. Italy.

Day One: Freaking out.
Some thoughts of mine: Ummmm I don’t speak Italian. Oh gosh, I don’t speak Italian. I can’t understand people. I can’t communicate with people. I feel so dumb. I don’t know how this is going to work. I’m never going to learn Italian. Oh gosh. Oh gosh. Oh gosh.

Day Two: Hmmmmmm.
Some thoughts of mine: Wow, this place has the best hot chocolate I’ve ever had. Wow, this place has amazing fresh markets. Wow, these people are super nice. Oh gosh, I don’t speak Italian. Oh gosh. Oh gosh. Oh gosh.

Day Three: Buongiorno!
Some thoughts of mine: I’m still clueless but I can greet people in Italian and understand when they are greeting me. Hand gestures are helpful. Learning that ‘just going for it’ is key to learning the language. I must break out of my perfectionist mode. Making mistakes is okay.

Day Four: I think this is possible.

After the first few initial days of shock, I’m discovering that learning a new language takes lots of patience and lots of time and lots of practice. Seriously, I’m trying to learn very basic things. Like being able to count from 1-10. And being able to say “My name is...” and such. It’s a process, but it is totally possible for me to eventually have conversations here.

Can I just say that I love my roommate? I am sooo glad that we are here in Naples together. We are so alike that it’s creepy…in a good way. We ventured out to get hot chocolate and do some exploring on our own a few nights ago and it was so much fun. I’m so thankful that I have her with me on this adventure.

So I’m sure all of that leads to the question of why I’m currently in Italy.
Short answer: I’m working with the evangelical church.
If you want the long answer, you know how to get in touch with me. I’d be glad to talk to you about it.

Ellie and I attempted our first meal on our own a few nights ago. We had a pasta dish with pesto alla calabrese con peperoni.  Soooooo good. And we ate part of the largest bell pepper I’ve ever seen in my life. I’m sure the Italians would think we were weird for eating it raw. But it is probably in the top five best tasting things I’ve ever had. YUM.

I really don’t think I will ever eat anything here that isn’t amazing. The Italians know food. And for this, I am thankful.

Tower of TERROR (the Americas)

So...I walked like two miles to see this crazy thing. And decided it wasn't going to happen tonight. You see, I'm really afraid of heights. I do not like them...at all. BUT, I've gone to the top of what was formerly known as The Sears Tower in Chicago, IL and I've been out on THE EDGE at Eureka Tower in Melbourne, Australia. I figured, "Tower of the Americas, I can so take you." Well, not tonight. Tonight it made my legs shake just to look at it.

I put on my game face. But then I almost peed my pants. Tomorrow we will see if I am brave enough.

It rained pretty much all day. And this was my face. C'mon, San Antonio. Give me another sunny day.

Howdy from Texas!

Wow I'm in Texas. And it is sunny. And I am wearing summer time clothes in January. Can you say awesome?

I know. This sombrero is super attractive and I should totally buy it and wear it all the time.

Yep. Alamo. Yep. Crockett Hotel in back. It's like I'm on a field trip in 5th grade that never happened. And it's awesome.

Stay tuned for more photos...

louisville = true love

I'm going to miss it. Here are pictures:

So pretty, especially with the snow.

Okay, I'm not going to be lazy. I'm going to actually write. Here it goes.

I love, love, love my friends. I have been so blessed to know them. My old friends have stuck with me, even though I haven't always been the best friend. My new friends are so ready to accept me, flaws and all. It seems like I've known them my whole life, when it has only been a matter of months. I'm going to miss them all so much!

I should really be packing right now. I'm leaving for Texas in the morning for a week. Then I'll have two days before I leave for Europe. I don't even want to think about packing for that trip. Well, it's time to get busy. Dear coffee, please give me energy. Thanks. Bye.

Snow Day!

I think this rule should apply to blogs too. If it snows, I'm allowed to not blog. Although I should blog every chance I get as it will soon be very sporadic. Is that word? It looks weird.

Anyway...I'm off to Louisville to see some friends this weekend. I'm about to take off for five months so I'm going to soak up as much friend time as I can this weekend. And I'll be going to Sojourn Community Church on Sunday which I am soooo happy about!

Haircut!

This is the longest my hair has ever been in my life. I had short hair for several years and I hated it so much. The long hair has been here for while and it's driving me nuts!!! I'm contemplating going short again. Probably not going to happen. But it is a thought in my head. I'm definitely getting it cut. I'm about to leave the country for five months and there is no way I can handle this mane of hair plus however many more inches grow during that time.

Also, I finally got all my grades for the semester. Finished my first semester of grad school with all A's. Yay! It was not easy, but I'm certain that I received a lot of grace.

Before:

After:

I should probably take a better picture but I'm too lazy. My hair is way shorter than I expected. It hits right at my shoulders which I know is technically not short. But listen, my hair was crazy long. But I like it this way. And it feels way better. It's a winner!

And someone else also wanted their picture taken.